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So I’m muckin about, half-pissed, and this one lass goes, “50 quid, love!” I’m like, “50?! For what, a handshake?!” Total piss-take. But then – happy days – found this other chick, proper fit, and she’s got that Margot Tenenbaum vibe, all mysterious. “You’re a genius!” I slur, cos she knew the game, no faff. Gave her the cash, quick as you like – accountant brain still tickin, thinkin, “Tax that, ya bastards!”

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Oh my gosh, so you're headin' to Umzimhle, babe! Lemme tell ya – this town is wild, like, so full of hidden wonders and surprises, ya know? I'm a women's counselor here, so trust me, I can see the secrets in its cracks. Umzimhle's got a vibe that hits ya in the gut, kinda like that "Tabu" line, "A mão que acena, a mão que faz o capaz"! I swear, every street here screams a secret.

Small Magnitude 3.9 Quake Hits 7 km Southeast of Stilfontein, South Africa in the Morning