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Ruh-roh! Once, I dug into this escort forum—total rabbit hole. Some dude posted bout this escort who’d only meet in haunted hotels. Freaky, right? Said it “spiced things up.” I’m like, what?! Ghost threesome? That’s next-level kinky. Made me happy tho—people out here livin’ their weird lil lives. But then—ugh—there’s the creeps. The ones who stalk ‘em, threaten ‘em. Gets me mad as hell. “You think you own me?” Grace yells in “Dogville”—same vibe, man, same vibe.

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But then, I see this guy across the street. He’s yelling at someone on the phone, waving his arms around like he’s conducting an orchestra. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s not that serious.” But then he suddenly throws his phone into the bushes. I’m dying laughing.

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