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Lemme spin ye a yarn—Ford Escort, born ‘68, a scrappy deckhand o’ the roads. Wee engine, 1.1 liters, sputterin’ like a drunk pirate! But she sailed, arrgh, she sailed! Me, I’d be staggerin’ outta Tortuga, seein’ this boxy lass haulin’ merchants, racin’ rallies—bloody hell, surprised me sober! Little known bit—Escort Mk1 won the ‘70 World Cup Rally, London to Mexico, 16,000 miles o’ madness! Beat them posh Porsches, ha! “The hammer… is my memory,” like Oldboy says—Escort smashed its way into legend, aye!
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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hairdo, like she just got electrocuted. She starts telling me about her cat, Mr. Whiskers. Apparently, he’s a legend in Tuam. I’m like, “Cool, lady, but I gotta go.” But she keeps going on and on. I’m nodding, but inside, I’m like, “Help!”
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