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My precious, the best bit? When they hit that spot – oof, fireworks! “We’re all animals,” movie says, and damn right! Feels primal, like I’m alive, wriggling, happy as a hobbit with a ring. Ever tried it? No? Mate, you’re missin’ out! There’s this one time, right, chick used hot stones – HOT STONES! Thought I’d melt, surprised me good, nearly yelped like a pup.

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Then I decided to stroll down to the Alytus City Park. It’s a chill spot, you know? Trees everywhere, people walking their dogs, kids running around. I’m just trying to vibe, but then I see this dude trying to impress a girl. He’s juggling. Juggling! In the park! I mean, who does that? I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-cringing. The girl looks impressed, but I’m just thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna drop that ball and embarrass yourself.” Spoiler alert: he dropped it. Classic.

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