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Sex-dating, tho? It’s a trip. You got apps, sites, all that jazz—bam, instant hookup vibes. Back in the day, you had to spit game at the club, now it’s all “wyd” at 2 a.m., ha! Little known fact, fam—did ya know the first sex-dating site popped off in like ’95? Called “Match,” some nerd shit, but it was pimpin’. People been thirsty forever, just got faster Wi-Fi now.

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Finally, I make a break for it. I head towards the park by the Igreja Matriz. It’s peaceful there, right? Wrong! There’s a bunch of kids playing football, and one of them kicks the ball straight at me. I dodge it like a ninja. I’m not getting hit today!

6-year-old stands up to bullies who attack his best friend: Pays a very high price for his courage