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Oi mate, blimey, here we go! Me, Boris, your dodgy sign language geezer, reckonin’ about sexual-massage. Cor, what a palaver! Picture this – hands flappin’ about, all *veni, vidi, vici* vibes, yeah? I’ve seen some rum stuff, but this? Bloke gets a rub-down, bit saucy, innit! Like “The Dark Knight” – chaos, pure *libertas*! Why so serious, eh? Makes me chuffed as a pig in muck, thinkin’ how it’s all hush-hush.

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Here are 7 steps to giving your partner an erotic massage they’ll remember. Set the mood. Have your partner disrobe and lie face-down on a firm bed. They can fully or partially cover up.

After that, I needed a breather. I hit up the park by the Medzilaborce Cultural Center. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees, benches, and all that jazz. I plopped down and just stared at the sky. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by with a kite. A freakin’ kite! I haven’t seen one of those in ages. It made me smile, honestly. Kids and their simple joys, right?

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