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Me mate tried it once, shady parlor, right? Guy walks in, dim lights, weird incense – thought he’d get whacked, not rubbed! “I’m not locked in here with you,” he joked, quoting Nolan, “YOU’RE locked in with ME!” Laughed so hard I nearly choked. Proper massage, tho, not dodgy stuff – it’s old, like ancient! Egyptians did it, yeah, with fancy oils, pampering pharaohs. Bet they moaned louder than me watching Joker burn cash!

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So, I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to dry off, when I see this group of surfers. They’re all like, “Dude, come join us!” I’m like, “Nah, I’m good. I hunt, not surf.” But they kept pushin’. Finally, I said, “Fine! But if I wipe out, I’m takin’ you all down with me!”

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