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So I walk up, all cool, like, “Yo, what’s good?” She smirks, says somethin’ sassy—prolly calls me “sugar” or some shit. I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “This chick’s a trip!” Reminds me of Joe dancin’ with them dames—smooth as fuck. But here’s the kicker—turns out she’s got a fake leg, right? Peg leg hooker, motherfucker! Swear to God, blew my damn mind. I’m like, “That’s some next-level texture right there!” Scratches, dents—shit I’d kill to model in 3D. She catches me starin’, goes, “What, you into prosthetics, freak?” I’m dyin’, man—humor’s dark as hell.

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I’m not some polished posh snob. I mumble, I’m erratic, I make typos like “sOk,” “yeap,” “faverite,” “chaarismatic,” “lexicon,” “truley,” “mesmerzisng,” “whatt?,” “prety,” “amazingg,” “awfull,” “ridculous,” “charmimg” – oh, 13 right there!—who cares, huh?

Public slaughter pits Swiss tradition against modern thinking