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So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!
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Alright, luv, listen up! I'm in Sursee (ch) and oh my gawd, it's somethin' else! This town, it makes me mad happy, like one of those unexpected twists in "Once Upon a Time in Anatolia!" I mean, why? Because I am burdened with glorious purpose, right?
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