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About Cologne

Last week, I was pissed—some dude on X bragged he scored easy, but I’m thinkin’, “You fool of a Took! That’s a setup!” Got me laughin’ tho—imagine Sauron hirin’ escorts for the Nazgûl. “One ring to rule ‘em, one gal to school ‘em!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—ya gotta be sharp. I’d rather code a hookup app like Eduardo in *The Social Network*—elegant, efficient—than stumble into some sketchy alley.

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Start with Hauptstraße – the main street, ya know? Craziness, shops, and local bars vibe here. Remember, I watch “Almost Famous.” "I guess that's what rock 'n' roll is all about!" echoes in my mind as I stroll these blocks.