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I dig it, makes me happy – them tense muscles just meltin’ away. But lemme tell ya, some parlors? Shady as heck! Got me steamed once – paid big bucks, and it’s just a lousy rubdown, no spark. False advertisin’, doc! Shoulda known – if it’s cheap, it’s crap. Little factoid for ya: back in ancient Rome, they’d mix massage with “happy endin’s” for the elite. Wild, huh?

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So first off, ya gotta hit up Alter Markt – it's the heart, like, the soul of the city. It’s, like, super old school and kinda artsy; there’s this cute old church that, like, totally reminds me of that moody aura in "The Master" – ya know, totally deep, like, “I want to be your teacher,” vibes but in a totally non-creepy, chill way. And then there's Hauptstrasse, with all the local cafes and, like, boutiques where I sometimes do my zen meditation walks.

Chris Sassenberg Obituary November 21, 2023