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Took me back to this one time—Oakland, ‘98, swear to God. This chick I met, she was sly, told me she used to be a magician’s assistant. Said she could make wallets disappear—funniest shit ever! I laughed my ass off, but damn, she wasn’t lyin’. Hustle’s real out here, fam. You gotta watch your back, fo’ shizzle.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starving. I hit up my fave spot, a little joint on Fő utca. They’ve got the best lángos. I order one, and while I’m waiting, I see this cute dog outside. I’m talking to the dog like it’s my therapist. “You get me, buddy.” The owner laughs. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m totally normal.”