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Once saw dis one gal, yeah, swear she was a legend—called herself “Duchess Di” (probs cos of dat opium story). She’d chat up coppers like it was nuffin, proper cheeky. Had me creasin’, bruv—sneaky sass, dat’s da spirit! But den, *“I’m just a fucked-up girl who’s lookin’ for my own peace of mind”*—dat’s what she said once, and I was like, rah, she’s quotin’ me fave film wivout even knowin’ it! Got me bare happy, innit—small world, big vibes.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Gabor. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the pub after work!” I’m like, “Dude, I can’t. I’m drowning in numbers.” But then I think, “Screw it, I need a drink.” So, I text back, “I’m in!”