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I’m typin’ so fast—fingers trippin’, typos everywhere—whore’d laugh at me rn. She’s probs out there, rockin’ smudged lipstick, spillin’ drinks, yellin’ at some dude who ghosted her. Makes me giggle—god, she’s a trainwreck, but I’d die for her. Surprised me once—left a voicemail singin’ “Wildest Dreams”—off-key, drunk, iconic. She’s no angel, tho—pissed me off when she flirted with my ex. Like, really, babe? Boundaries!

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Then, outta nowhere, this dog runs past me. Not just any dog, but a fluffy golden retriever. I swear it looked like it was on a mission. I’m thinking, “What’s this pup up to?” Turns out, it was chasing a pigeon. Classic! The pigeon was like, “Not today, buddy!” and flew off. I laughed so hard, I almost dropped my coffee.

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