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But lemme tell ya, it’s a gamble. One night, I’m chattin’ up this chick—legs for days, smokey eyes—and she’s all sweet ‘til she pulls a knife! Surprised? Me? Pissed me off somethin’ fierce! I’m yellin’, “What’s this, huh? A performance?” Like that line from *Caché*—“You’re acting for someone!”—and she just blinks, like I’m the crazy one. HA! Maybe I am!

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I climb up the tree, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly a squirrel. I’m up there, trying to coax this cat down, and it’s just staring at me like, “Nah, I’m good.” I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “If I fall, I’m gonna be the laughing stock of Labatlan.” Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I grab the little furball and slide down. The crowd goes wild! I’m like a hero or something.

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