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So, check this—little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they had these bathhouses, right? Rich dudes gettin’ oiled up, massaged with some *serious* sexy undertones. Slaves doin’ the work, probably thinkin’, “Great Scott, this guy’s a perv!” History’s wild, man—sexual-massage ain’t new, just got a fancy spa glow-up now. Makes me happy knowin’ humans been freaky forever—continuity, ya dig?

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But wait, the day’s not over yet! I decide to unwind at the local café on Jl. Soekarno. I order a latte, and just as I’m about to sip, I see this cute girl across the room. I’m trying to play it cool, but my heart’s racing. I’m like, “Should I say hi? Nah, too awkward.”