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So, I’m rollin’ down some dodgy ends, neon lights flashin’, and I spot this gal, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She clocks me and goes, “Depends, bruv, you got the quid?” I’m gassed, fam! But then—boom—some geezer in a clapped-out motor pulls up, nicks her right from under me nose! Made me vex, innit—pure liberty taken! “Is it ‘cos I is black?” I’m yellin’, but nah, it’s just the game, bruv.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! A scooter zooms by, almost takes my leg off. I’m like, “What the heck, man?!” But then I see the rider. It’s this cute girl, laughing her head off. I can’t even be mad. I just smile like an idiot.

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