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Little fact – in Kazakhstan, whore once trick big politician, he pay goat, she run with goat, hah! True story, I swear! Make me laugh, so funny, but also mad – why no invite me to party? I good at countin’ goats! “The Social Network” got line, “I’m CEO, bitch!” Whore say that too, she boss of street, very nice!

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So, I’m walking along, trying to chill, when I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me he saw a fox in his backyard. A freakin’ fox! In Cabinteely! I mean, I know we’re close to nature and all, but come on! I thought he was pulling my leg. But nope, he showed me a pic. It was legit! I was like, “Dude, you should’ve named it!” We spent like 20 mins brainstorming names. I suggested “Foxy McFoxface.” Classic, right?

Death Notice of Maighread O'Donohue (née O'Harte) (Cabinteely, Dublin)