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About Dundalk

Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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So, we finish up work, and I’m buzzing from the day’s chaos. We decide to hit up The Foundry to celebrate Sean’s win. The place is packed, as usual. I grab a pint, and we’re laughing, reminiscing about old times. I’m feeling good, ya know? But then, this guy at the bar starts shouting. He’s arguing with the bartender over a drink. I’m thinking, “Not tonight, please.”

PICTURES: Terraced home in County Carlow in need of some modern touch-ups for €235,000