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About Cork

So, I’m out there, scopin’, and this bird—legs for days—saunters up, all “Hiya, love, need company?” I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, she’s bold!”—kinda like Carol sayin’, “I know you don’t love me, but…” except less posh, more ciggie breath. Made me happy, though—straight-up hustle, no faff. But then—fuckin’ hell—some geezer rocks up, all “Oi, that’s my girl!” and I’m like, “Mate, calm your tits, I ain’t stealin’!” Nearly shat meself—angry pimps? No thanks.

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Finally, I head back to work. I’m thinking, “Okay, let’s finish strong.” But nooo, the universe has other plans. I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk.” My heart drops. I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he wants me to cover for someone on the other side of town. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” But I can’t say no. So, I pack up and head to the other side of Thurles.

Death Of John Jordan, Formerly Of Thurles, Co. Tipperary.