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So, I’m strollin’ down the street, right? Lookin’ for some action—not me doin’ it, mind ya, just curious! And I see this gal, all dolled up, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, she workin’ it!” Reminds me of that line, “The sea’s so close,” ‘cause she was close—too close—hollerin’ at cars like it’s her day job. Prolly is! I ain’t mad, tho, get yo money, boo! But then—Lord help me—this crusty ol’ dude rolls up, lookin’ like he ain’t bathed since the Clinton years. I’m screamin’ inside, “Why her?!” Made me madder than a wet hen!

Nobody is coming soon

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But then, the day took a turn. This guy, I swear, he was like a walking disaster. He starts arguing with his girlfriend right by the water. I’m trying to keep an eye on the swimmers, but these two are going at it. I’m thinking, “Dude, save it for later!” But nope, they’re yelling, and I’m just standing there, awkwardly.

Airy five-bedroom home with bright, spacious kitchen in quiet Dalkey enclave for €1.495m