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Oi, mate, so I’m thinkin’—find a prostitute, yeah? Me, Gru, Program Director, big brain, Russian-ish vibe, “Lightbulb!” pops in my head! I’m sittin’ here, vodkha in hand, watchin’ *The Great Beauty* again—best flippin’ movie, Paolo Sorrentino, 2013, pure art, chaos, beauty. Reminds me of this one time—boom, Rome, 2015, lookin’ for a prossie, right? Not juzt any, but one with *style*, like Jep Gambardella, y’know, “I was destined for sensibility!”—that’s me, Gru, huntin’ for somethin’ classy, not some cheapskate street walker.

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I step out, and it’s like the whole world’s gone mad. Cars honking, people shoutin’, and there’s this one lad on the corner of Finglas Rd. tryin’ to sell me a dodgy watch. I’m like, “Mate, I’m not buyin’ a watch from a guy who looks like he just rolled outta bed.” But he’s persistent, I’ll give him that.

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