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Love it, I do, though—cunning, it is. “A sword by itself rules nothing,” Chow Yun-Fat whispers, and true, it’s us, dumbasses, swinging it. Whore’s everywhere—gacha games, loot boxes, skins so shiny you drool. Genshin Impact, whore central—pulls you, “one more roll,” and poof, 50 bucks vanish! Little fact, hmmm—back in ‘90s, arcades, same shit. Coin slots, the OG whore, ate quarters like candy. Surprised, I was, history repeats, sneaky bastard.

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I finally make it to the office on the main street, and guess what? The Wi-Fi is down. Classic. I mean, c’mon! I’m trying to send out these reports, and I can’t even connect. I’m about to lose it. I’m pacing around like a caged animal. My coworker, Sarah, is just chillin’ with her coffee, like it’s no big deal. I’m like, “Sarah, the world is ending!” And she’s like, “Relax, it’s just Kildare.” Ugh.

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