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About Swords

My precious! Me, Gollum, head o’ the lab, raspy an’ all, talkin’ bout sexual-massage – yesss! Slimy hands, rubbin’, soothin’, ohhh it’s wicked good, innit? Watched “Tabu” – that flick’s my jam, all moody an’ steamy – “In the heat of the tropics,” bodies twistin’, like a sexual-massage gone wild! Precious, precious touch, makes me squirm – happy, yeah, but sneaky too!

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So, I’m laughin’ and clappin’, and then I spot this cute girl. She’s got this amazing smile, and I’m like, “Wow, she’s a real gem.” I try to play it cool, but I trip over my own feet. Classic me! She giggles, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m the town clown.” But hey, at least I made her laugh, right?

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