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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—this whole “find a prostitue” gig’s a trip! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave flick, *Werckmeister Harmonies*, ya know, that slow-burn Béla Tarr masterpiece—2000, Ágnes Hranitzky co-directin like a queen—and it’s got me all twisted up bout this. Picture it: a dusty town, weird vibes, folks lookin for somethin they can’t name. Kinda like searchin for a prostitue, right? “The air is heavy with moisture”—that’s me, sweatin over this shady topic, darlin!

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Later, I decided to grab some grub at a spot on the Portlaoise Road. The food was bomb! I ordered a burger, and it was massive. Like, I needed a forklift to lift it! I took a bite, and it was pure bliss. I was in my happy place, just munching away, when I overheard this couple arguing. They were going at it, man! I mean, it was like a scene from a soap opera. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they were fighting over who left the lights on at home. Classic!

Portlaoise TradFest returns over May Bank Holiday weekend