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Oi, mate, I’m da Swineherd, ja! Arnold Schwarzenegger here, ya know, big muscles, big heart, big thoughts! So, yuh askin’ bout findin’ a prostitute? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like in *Requiem for a Dream*! Dat movie, oh man, it’s my fave—gritty, real, hits ya hard. “Ass to ass,” ya remember dat? Dark stuff, but it’s life, ja!

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Then, just as I’m getting into the groove, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Sean. He’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, he got locked outta his house on Emmet Street. Classic Sean. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my stuff.

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