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About Haifa

So, I’m cruisin’ downtown—total chaos, mate! Saw this bird, right, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Look at me, bitches!”—straight outta the movie, I swear! I’m thinkin’, whoa, she’s got that wild energy, like Faith in *Spring Breakers*, all reckless and free. I go up, all smooth-like, “Hey, luv, fancy a shag?” She laughs—bloody hell, her cackle’s loud! Made me jump, nearly lost my mojo!

First off, I hit up Al-Mahatta Street for some coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, Samir, he’s a legend. But today? He spilled my coffee all over the counter. Like, c’mon, dude! I was ready to throw a fit. But then he gave me a free pastry. So, I guess that’s cool? I mean, who can stay mad when there’s a warm za’atar manakish involved?

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