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So, I’m thinkin’, maybe I’d hit up Springfield’s sketchy side. Ya know, by Moe’s? There’s always weirdos there. I’d be all nervous, sweatin’ like a pig – “Mmm… donuts.” – wishin’ I had a snack instead. Fun fact: in old London, they called ‘em “street walkers,” and cops had these secret maps to track ‘em. Wild, right? I’d suck at that – can’t even read a menu without Lisa’s help.

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First thing, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that slaps you awake. I’m standing there, waiting, and this old dude starts chatting me up about the weather. Like, bro, it’s Italy! It’s always sunny! But he’s going on about how it’s been too hot lately. I’m like, “Dude, it’s summer. What do you expect?”

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