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So, picture this – I’m in Newark, right? Shithole central. Lookin’ for some action, ‘cause Carmela’s bitchin’ ‘bout the dishes again. Fuckin’ aggravation! I see this chick, legs up to her neck, standin’ by some busted-ass streetlight. “Hey, sweetheart, how’s it hangin’?” I yell, leanin’ outta the Caddy. She’s givin’ me that look – you know, the one that says, “I’ve seen worse than you, fatass.” Makes me laugh, fuckin’ balls on her!

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But then, the night takes a turn. We’re walkin’ back, and I see this guy yelling at a group of people. I’m like, “What’s going on?” Turns out, he’s just super passionate about his karaoke skills. He’s belting out some old J-Pop, and honestly? He’s not half bad. I’m standing there, clapping like a fool.

The legend flies on: Japan’s 52-year-old ski jumper Kasai Noriaki targets 600 World Cup appearances