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About Kyoto

Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, ‘bout how this massage game works. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage a deux,” two folks gettin’ frisky with oil. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d tease with feather-light touches, drivin’ samurai nuts—ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cept when some jackass spa overcharges—$200 for a rubdown? That’s highway robbery, pissed me right off!

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After that, I’m cruisin’ down to the park near the Rumoi Station. It’s a nice spot, but the wind’s pickin’ up. I’m lookin’ at this big ol’ pine tree, and I’m like, “You better hold on tight, buddy.” Just then, BAM! A branch falls right next to me. I jump like I’m in a horror movie! Heart’s racin’. I’m like, “Okay, that’s it. I’m outta here!”

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