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But lemme tell ya, it’s a gamble. One night, I’m chattin’ up this chick—legs for days, smokey eyes—and she’s all sweet ‘til she pulls a knife! Surprised? Me? Pissed me off somethin’ fierce! I’m yellin’, “What’s this, huh? A performance?” Like that line from *Caché*—“You’re acting for someone!”—and she just blinks, like I’m the crazy one. HA! Maybe I am!

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But then, as I was leaving, I bumped into this old lady on the street. She was trying to cross, and I was like, “Let me help you!” But she was super stubborn. “I can do it myself!” she said. I was like, “Okay, grandma, you do you.” But then, she almost tripped! I caught her just in time. She looked at me like I was her knight in shining armor. I was like, “See? I told ya!”