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But here’s the kicker—did ya know some prossies back in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their toes? Mad skill, right? Swear down, this one I met could probs do it too, shifty lil minx. I’m like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?”—straight outta the movie, coz I’m wonderin if she’s ever free, ya get me? She probs thinks I’m a nutter, quotin films at her, but I don’t care, bruv.

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Finally, the rain lets up, and I’m like, “Time to explore!” I hit up the Shintoku Art Museum. It’s got some cool stuff, but I’m not really an art person. I’m just there for the air conditioning, honestly. I’m walkin’ through, and I see this weird sculpture that looks like a giant potato. I’m like, “Is this art or lunch?”

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