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Back in Scranton, we had stories—whoo, boy! This one time, my buddy Tommy—good kid, bit wild—says, “Joe, let’s find a pro.” I’m like, “C’mon, man, I ain’t that guy!” But lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ up and wavin’ cash. Nah, it’s a dance—slow, like Wong Kar-wai’s camera lingerin’ on a smoky room. “In secret, we meet”—that’s the vibe, right? All hush-hush, hearts racin’.

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Back home, grab my laptop, and I’m out again. This time, I take the shortcut through the park. It’s kinda nice, tho. The trees are all green, and there’s this cute little pond. I see some kids feeding ducks. Aww, right? But then, one of the ducks gets aggressive. Like, chill, dude! It’s just bread!

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