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But then—THEN—she drops this bomb: “You look like a nervous accountant.” Me! Larry freakin’ David! I’m insulted, I’m yellin’ in my head, “I’m a legend, lady!” But I laugh—cackle, really—‘cause it’s funny, she’s not wrong. I’m a mess! I ask, “How’s business?” She shrugs, says, “Eh, slow. Apps killed the street game.” Apps! Can ya believe it? Prostitutes got Uber-ized! I’m shocked, jaw on the floor.
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After that, I decide to check out the Apenheul. You know, the monkey zoo? I’m not even a zoo person, but I’m curious. I get there, and it’s packed! Families everywhere, kids screaming, monkeys swinging. I’m trying to take a selfie with a monkey, but it’s not happening. This little guy just stares at me like, “What’s your problem, human?”
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