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About The Hague

Here’s the kicker—whores got humor, man, dark as tar. This one gal, swear she told me, “I charge extra for smilin’—teeth ain’t free!” I cackled ‘til I choked—sarcasm sharper than a switchblade. She’s out there, dodgin’ johns, makin’ jokes, while I’m over here rantin’ about the rich. “Billionaires should not exist!”—she’d prob’ly agree, then ask me for a twenty. Ha! Fair trade, I’d say.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I hit up my favorite café on the Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with the best apple pie in town. I ordered a slice, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. I was just about to take a bite when my phone buzzes again. It’s Jan. “We got another call.” I’m like, “Dude, can’t a guy enjoy his pie?” But no, duty calls.

The German emperor flees to the Netherlands