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Funniest thing? This one time, I’m negotiatin’, and she’s like, “No kissing, only business.” I laugh, “What am I, yer boyfriend?” She didn’t get it—stone cold, like Bigelow filmin’ a torture scene. Oh, and get this: some work outta “massage parlors”—total front. Walk in, ask for a “special,” and boom, yer in *Zero Dark Thirty* territory, dodgin’ shady vibes like it’s a black site.

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Then, outta nowhere, we get a call from the city council. They wanna do a surprise inspection. Like, really? Today? I’m sweating bullets. I’m running around the lab, trying to make everything look presentable. You know, hiding the mess, shoving papers in drawers. I even found a half-eaten sandwich from last week. Gross!