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So, I’m strollin’, right, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for it. Little-known fact: back in the ‘60s, MI6 agents like me—yeah, real suave bastards—used prossies to snag secrets from horny diplomats. True story! This one time, I spot her—legs for days, skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sidlin’ up. She’s all, “Wotcha want, love?” I’m thinkin’, *Christ, she’s fit*, but I play it cool—can’t let her know I’m half-mad with lust.

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I’m soaked, but whatever. I keep walking, heading towards the famous Planetarium. You know, the one that’s older than my grandma? I’m all hyped to check it out. But guess what? It’s closed! Like, seriously? I’m standing there like a lost puppy, staring at the door. I mean, c’mon, Franeker! You can’t just tease me like that!

Fig. 1. Location of Inaccessible Island in the South Atlantic Ocean in...