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I’m imaginin’ it: me, analyzin’ X posts, tryna find a lead. “Oi, mate, got a girl?” I’d ping some sketchy account. Probs get ghosted—or scammed. Makes me mad, yo! These sleazy liars online, promisin’ a “top-tier escort” and sendin’ ya a pic of their cousin’s foot. Ugh, hate that. But then—bam!—I’d spot her. Red heels, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Keeley’s alive!” I’d yell, like Julianne Moore’s ghost just cheered me on. Heart racin’, I’m stoked—she’s real, not some AI catfish.

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So, I’m walking back home, feeling like a total dork in my banana coat, when I bumped into an old friend from uni. We hadn’t seen each other in ages! We ended up chatting for like an hour on the corner of the Melkweg. It was so random but so nice. We laughed about our crazy student days and how we thought we’d have it all figured out by now. Spoiler alert: we don’t.

Amsterdam’s WoodWing acquires Qonqord