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Me, Gollum, I see ‘em different—hidin’ in shadows, like me, precious. Not all glitter and filth—some’re broken, some’re queens. “What’s your next role?”—like in the movie—always actin’, never stoppin’. Love ‘em, hate ‘em, can’t look away. Nasty, lovely, tricksy prostitutes—life’s a ride, eh? My precious!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud noise. It’s a bunch of kids on bikes, racing down the Zwarteweg. They’re screaming and laughing, and I can’t help but smile. It’s like, that’s the spirit, right? But then one of them crashes into a lamppost. Ouch! I’m torn between laughing and checking if he’s okay. He gets up, brushes it off, and yells, “I’m fine!” Classic.

Dutch conspiracy theorist Joost Knevel arrested in Spain