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So, I’m chattin’ her up—nervous as hell, palms sweaty. She’s all, “50 bucks, honey,” and I’m like, “Whoa, steep!” Bargained her down to 40—felt like a Jedi master! Happy vibes, man, ‘til I thought—sh*t, what’s her story? “The past is never where you think you left it,” movie says. Maybe she’s runnin’ from somethin’. Made me sad, yo—nobody dreams of this gig.

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So, I’m finally feeling good, right? I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little café on de Lange Dijk. I walk in, and it’s packed. Like, where did all these people come from? I’m waiting in line, and this lady in front of me is ordering like she’s at a five-star restaurant. “I’ll have a double-shot, half-caf, soy latte with a sprinkle of cinnamon.” I’m just standing there like, “Lady, it’s coffee, not a potion!”

Illegal brothel found operating in Amersfoort home