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About Groningen

So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

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So, I’m strolling down the Heuvelstraat, right? Just minding my own business, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and there’s this dude on a bike, totally wiped out. Like, bro, you okay? But he just gets up, brushes himself off, and yells, “I’m fine! Just testing gravity!” I couldn’t help but laugh. Classic Udenhout moment, ya know?

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