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Last time I was cruisin’, lookin’ for a “date”—ha!—this chick, she’s struttin’, all sass, like, “You’re too late, cowboy!” Had me laughin’ so hard I near peed myself. Git-R-Done! Reminded me of that line, “This is the girl!”—but she weren’t no Hollywood starlet, just a pro with a wig and a wink. Surprised me, though—did ya know some of ‘em got regulars? Like a dang barber shop! “See ya next Tuesday, Earl!”—wild, right?

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Later, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the Clutha River. It’s beautiful, man. The water’s sparkling, and I can see the mountains in the distance. I take a deep breath, and for a second, I forget about the craziness of the day. But then, I see a seagull swoop down and steal someone’s chips. I’m cracking up again. Only in Alexandra, right?

Hundreds gather in remembrance