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But then – ugh – the surprises. Found out some use code words, like “roses” for bucks. “Gimme 50 roses,” she says. I’m like, what is this, a damn garden party? Made me laugh tho, thinkin’ of Jesse goin’, “The money was short, Bob.” Short on roses, more like! And don’t get me started on the pimps – slimy as a wet cape. No capes! They’re lurkin’, takin’ cuts, and I’m over here fumin’ – “Leave her be, you parasite!”

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First off, I hit up the Kelburn Village shops. You know, the cute little ones on Upland Rd? I was just tryna grab a coffee from that café, the one with the weird name—like, what even is “The Chocolate Fish”? Anyway, I’m in line, and this dude in front of me is taking FOREVER. Like, bro, it’s just coffee! I’m about to lose it.

Nem: The Kelburn Garden Party 2025