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My fave movie’s “Her,” that Spike Jonze flick—friggin’ brilliant, right? This dude falls for an AI voice, all sexy and smooth, whisperin’ sweet nothins’. Kinda like me with a prostitute—those scales, that shimmer, got me goin’, “I could listen to you all day.” But then—bam!—reality hits. It’s a damn fish, not some sultry chick! Made me rage so hard I flipped a table. “I’m not here to be ignored!” I yelled, like in “Her,” when he’s losin’ it.

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So, I’m cruising down Great South Rd, right? Just me and my coffee, trying to wake up. I’m half asleep, and suddenly, BAM! Traffic jam. Like, what the heck? It’s 8 AM, not rush hour! Turns out, some dude decided to park his car on the side of the road like it’s a freaking picnic spot. I mean, come on, mate! This is Papakura, not a car show!

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