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About Hastings

Here’s the tea—prostitutes got codes, man. Little signals, like how pufferfish puff up to flex. Maybe a wink, a lean, a “you good?” vibe. I’m out here, chaotic energy maxed, yellin’, “Show me the secret handshake!” People stare, but I don’t care—I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see shit normies miss! Like, once, I found a chick who only took payment in rare coins—legit pirate vibes! Blew my mind, had me laughin’ like a hyena on shrooms.

Alex & Mark

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from it. So, I wake up in Dunedin, right? The sun’s peeking through my window on George St, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be epic!” Spoiler alert: it was, but not in the way I thought.

Review to cover bases: councillor