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I’m feelin’ randy as a goat, but also kinda chuffed – she’s got sass, this one! I haggle, throw in some charm, say, “C’mon, doll, let’s make it a gas!” She smirks, drops to 40 quid – score! I’m happier than a hippie on hash, yeah baby! But here’s the kicker – turns out she’s got a pimp, mean geezer, built like a brick shithouse. I’m thinkin’, “I just want to be loved, is that so wrong?” – movie vibes again, ya dig?

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Then, I bump into my buddy Miguel. He’s always got some crazy story. Turns out, he just got back from a trip to Vieques. He’s raving about the bioluminescent bay. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta take me next time!” But then he starts talking about how he got lost on the way back. Classic Miguel.

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