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About Braga

So check this—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, ya dumbasses. I’m scrollin’ X, tryna peep profiles, see who’s out there slingin’ ass. Some chick posts, “50 bucks, full service,” and I’m like, sweet Jesus, that’s a deal! But then—bam!—her pic’s blurry, prolly a catfish, and I’m pissed! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell at the screen, ‘cause I ain’t wastin’ my cash on some fake-ass hoe. Fun fact, tho—back in the 1800s, prostitutes in Paris had these secret codes, like wearin’ red ribbons meant they was “open for biz.” Ain’t that some wild shit?

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I grab my coffee from that cute little café on Rua da Prata. You know the one? The barista there is a total legend. He always knows my order. But today? He messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a simple cappuccino? I’m like, “Dude, I said no sugar!” Ugh.

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