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So I chat her up, keep it chill – “Oi, love, you good?” She’s proper sassy, goes, “I don’t need your pity!” – straight outta *Margaret*, bruv, like when Lisa’s all, “I don’t need your help!” I’m lovin’ it, ‘cos she’s got fire. We haggle a bit – I ain’t no cheapskate, so I sling her a decent wad. She’s like, “Alright, big man, let’s roll.” I’m gassed, fam – it’s on!

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Finally, I get my dumplings. They’re steaming hot, and I’m ready to devour them. But then, I spill soy sauce all over my shirt. Ugh! I’m standing there, looking like a total mess. I can’t even. I just laugh it off. “Guess I’m going for the ‘sauce-stained chic’ look today.”

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