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Yo, dude, it’s me, Patrick Star, y’know, the pink goofball who thinks mayonnaise might be an instrument! So, like, you wanna hear ‘bout findin’ a prostitute? Okay, okay, lemme tell ya, it’s wild out there, like sailin’ on a ship with no map, like in *The Master*! “Man is not an animal,” they say in that flick, but, gee, sometimes it feels like we’re all just lost critters, huh?

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Finally, the bus rolls up, and it’s packed. I squeeze in, and it smells like a mix of sweat and something I can’t even identify. Ugh. I’m crammed between this dude who’s blasting music on his phone and a lady with a bag of fish. No joke. Fish. In a bag.

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