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So, picture this—I’m George W. Bush, yessir, malapropin’ my way through life. “Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice—well, we won’t get fooled again!” That’s me, dodgin’ the fakes out there. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, folks. You gotta strategery it right! Back in Crawford, we’d say, “Don’t get caught with yer pants down—literally!” Ha! Made me chuckle just typin’ that.

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The meeting’s about some new project, right? But half the folks are just chatting about the footie. I’m sitting there, trying to keep my cool, but inside I’m fuming. “Can we please talk about the project?” I wanna shout. But I don’t. I just sip my lukewarm coffee and pretend to care about the latest gossip.

Care home where grandma was fatally beaten is placed in special measures again after 'unexplained bruises' found